The world shut down just days before a romantic night out, where I envisioned holding my husband’s hand as we swayed and sang to For King & Country in concert. I was also excited for a spring weekend in Vancouver with my sisters.

If we made a list of canceled, closed, lost, or missed things because of COVID it would be endless.

A decade ago, I left a short-lived teaching career and welcomed my first baby. Making a home-based life didn’t feel natural in those early months.

I struggled to grasp at elusive forms of control—a jail of my own making.

I anticipated birth would be a challenge I could conquer; yet, twenty hours of intense back labor and over three hours of pushing left me reeling (the hardest of six deliveries and the catalyst to midwifery care and home birthing).